Inheritance law & blended families: married and unmarried couples with (joint) children

Statutory inheritance law no longer reflects today’s social reality in many respects. This is particularly true for blended families, where parents live together with children from different relationships. This article looks at the inheritance challenges faced by blended families and the options available to organise matters in a way that suits their individual circumstances.

Inheritance law in the “traditional” family structure

When statutory inheritance law was introduced into the German Civil Code (BGB) more than 100 years ago, it was based on the traditional family model: married parents with children from that marriage.

For this family structure, the law regulates the transfer of assets upon death in such a way that all immediate family members receive a share. If one spouse dies, the surviving spouse inherits together with the children. If no will has been made, the closest relatives are automatically provided for as statutory heirs.

Nevertheless, it is strongly advisable to make a will. A properly drafted will can help prevent disputes between heirs and avoid tax disadvantages that may arise under the default statutory rules.

Inheritance law in blended families

In blended families, however, statutory rules are often inadequate. These are families in which not all children are necessarily the biological children of both partners. In addition, the couple may not be married.

Socially, such families are now just as widely accepted as traditional marriages with joint children. For those involved, a “reconstituted family” often feels just as committed and permanent as the traditional model.

From a legal perspective, however, the situation is more complicated. If the partners are not married, one partner does not inherit anything under statutory law when the other dies. The same applies to stepchildren: if a parent in a blended family dies, the children of the other partner (i.e. stepchildren) inherit nothing under statutory law. Only the deceased’s biological children are recognised as statutory heirs.

But what does the legal position look like in detail? And how can wills and other arrangements be used to create a fair and tailored solution for a blended family?

Inheritance rights of unmarried partners

The specific inheritance situation between partners in a blended family depends primarily on whether the couple are married or not.

Cohabiting without marriage

If partners in a blended family are not married, their relationship does not exist in the eyes of statutory inheritance law. A couple may live together for many years in a committed relationship, but without a marriage certificate and without a will, the surviving partner inherits nothing.

When such a partner dies, only their biological children inherit – whether from the current relationship or from previous relationships or marriages. If the deceased has no children, their parents inherit (if still alive), otherwise their (half-)siblings.

If you wish your partner to inherit in an unmarried relationship, this must be clearly stated in a will naming them as heir.

Important: If a partner is still legally married to an ex-spouse and divorce proceedings have not yet begun, the situation can become highly problematic. In this case, the legal spouse inherits alongside the biological children.

Even if the ex-spouse has been disinherited in a will, they may still be entitled to a compulsory share amounting to 50% of their statutory inheritance entitlement as long as the marriage has not been legally dissolved.

Without careful planning, this can lead to a community of heirs made up of the ex-spouse and the deceased’s children – a situation that carries considerable potential for conflict.

Remarriage in a blended family

If partners in a blended family decide to marry (or remarry), this has significant inheritance consequences. From the date of marriage, the new spouse automatically becomes a statutory heir alongside the deceased’s biological children – even without a will.

The spouse’s statutory share depends, among other things, on:

• whether there is a marital agreement governing property,
• how many biological children or other entitled descendants the deceased had.

Depending on the circumstances, the spouse’s statutory share may be up to 50%. If the deceased leaves no biological descendants, the spouse may inherit as much as 75%.

Marriage therefore provides substantial financial advantages for the surviving partner. From an inheritance tax perspective, the difference is even more striking: unmarried partners may face inheritance tax of at least 30% on what they receive.

However, the spouse’s statutory entitlement may reduce the shares of the deceased’s biological children. This can create tension within the community of heirs consisting of the new spouse and the children.

To avoid such conflicts, it is essential to regulate the desired distribution of the estate in a professionally drafted will. Particular care must be taken to ensure that the will reflects the specific family structure and considers different possible scenarios – especially since the order in which the partners die cannot be predicted.

Can an ex-partner benefit from my estate?

In blended families, there are often ex-partners with whom children are shared. While the relationship with the children may be good, the relationship with the ex-partner may not be.

Many people therefore ask: could my ex-partner benefit from my estate after my death? The answer is yes, in certain circumstances.

First, if the marriage has not yet been legally dissolved, the ex-spouse may still inherit.

Second, even after divorce, an indirect benefit is possible. If you share a minor child with your ex-partner, that child inherits from you upon your death. As the surviving parent, the ex-partner will generally manage the child’s inherited assets until the child reaches adulthood.

If the child later dies without children of their own, the surviving parent – i.e. the ex-partner – may inherit from the child. In this way, part of your estate may ultimately pass to your ex-partner indirectly.

This scenario can be prevented through a carefully structured “divorce will” designed to protect your estate from such unintended consequences.

Actively shaping your estate planning

The key message is clear: when forming a blended family – whether married or not – it is wise to consider inheritance matters carefully and seek professional advice.

The statutory rules rarely reflect what individuals actually want, particularly when it comes to protecting a partner alongside one’s own children.

If a will already exists, it should be reviewed to ensure that it still fits the new family reality. If no will has yet been made, it is advisable to set out one’s wishes clearly as soon as the blended family is established.

It is important to note that only married couples can make a joint handwritten will. Unmarried partners must make separate individual wills. In blended families, it may also be sensible to appoint an executor – especially where minor children or difficult ex-partners are involved.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Does my partner automatically inherit if we are not married?

No. In an unmarried cohabiting relationship, the surviving partner inherits nothing under statutory law, even after many years together. Only biological descendants of the deceased are statutory heirs. If there are none, more distant relatives inherit. If you wish to provide for your partner, this must be explicitly arranged in a will or inheritance contract.

What happens if partners in a blended family marry?

After marriage, the new spouse automatically becomes a statutory co-heir alongside the deceased’s children, even without a will. A community of heirs arises between the spouse and the children. Depending on the marital property regime and the number of children, the spouse’s share is usually up to 50%. If there are no biological descendants, the spouse may inherit 75%. Marriage strengthens the spouse’s legal position but may reduce the children’s shares, potentially leading to conflict. A well-drafted will can help prevent this.

Can my divorced ex-partner indirectly benefit from my estate?

Yes, in certain situations. If you have minor children together, your ex-partner generally manages their inherited assets until adulthood. If the child later dies without children, the ex-partner may inherit from them. This can be prevented through a professionally drafted divorce will.